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Hello!
I'm Debs, and you've found my little corner of the internet
I am a happily married mum of three.
Our house is home to me, my husband, three children and a huge variety of special educational needs and disabilities (ranging from severe visual impairment to autism, from speech and communication issues to dyspraxia and from osteoarthritis to vertigo). It's also home to one very nutty dog who fits in perfectly.
Having children with SEND has definitely given me a huge bag of tools to help me get back up, time and time again. Tools to help me keep the plates spinning and tools to help me know when I need to focus on self care.
I try to keep it real, I don't pretend I have the perfect Instagrammable home life, work/life balance or eating habits. Like you, I have good days and bad days.
Days when motivation comes easily and days when just getting out of bed is an achievement.
Days when anyone could pop round and I would be delighted to see them, and others when my house is in need of a bit of attention so unexpected drop ins leave me feeling overwhelmed.
Life isn't perfect for anyone but I can help you find that balance so the bad days don't outweigh the good ones.
Life is never ever dull!
I hope you enjoy reading my pearls of wisdom, please
feel free to leave your comments and thoughts.
Debs x
Happy Clients Have Said...
Latest Pearls of Wisdom
A moment in Merthyr
It’s been a rough few years and holidays have been something we have only been able to dream about. We decided to put off an overseas holiday as we are definitely the people who would end up having to isolate or getting stuck somewhere. That may sound …
Putting it off – making an easy job a challenge
Why do we do it? We have these jobs we know we need to do but we keep putting them off. By doing this, we make the job appear even more difficult than it is. We give it a power and then even more amazingly, we start to believe the hype we have created.
Recent Pearls of Wisdom
Self care: Me too not Me First,
Self care isn’t about making you the number one priority and ignoring the needs of everyone around you. Self care means “me too”.
Eat the ugly Frog first
If we eat the frog, (ie get that awful job done out of the way), then the rest of the day has got to be a breeze but what if you have more than one frog item on your list?
Review – Teen Calm Box
The aim of Teen Calm is to help young adults develop a routine that builds self-regulation skills so they can cope with those annoying doubts and insecurities
To Do List, Planning and Scheduling
“a plan Is what, a schedule is when. It takes both to get things done” Pubilius Syrus Lists Are you a list writer? Do you have lists everywhere? Or maybe even lists organised in one lovely book – yes I’m talking about you – or maybe you have amazing mind maps that you’ve spent hours …
Incomplete Compassion
Compassion – a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them” Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown that some psychopaths have the ability to feel compassion but …
Focus, focus, focus
If you are anything like me, you are possibly involved in several projects. Maybe you’re not involved in lots of projects, but you are trying to juggle work, home, me-time, keeping fit, being a mum/dad, and somehow trying to find time to write that book or redecorate that room. or learn a new skill I …
Failure, then success
Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure …
Do what you can
Start where you are Do you put things off because you are thinking of the end result too much and it seems so far away? Want to run a marathon? Want to lose a few stone? Want to start a podcast? Want to change career? You know what you have to do, don’t you? Start! …
Not just me then
Comment on Facebook 1972950632965132_616855039870158
Mine has gone from night to day as I roll out of bed, to my office in my pj's 😂
“I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughout all my life and with all my heart I shall strive to be worthy of your trust."
RIP HM Queen Elizabeth. You were worthy of our trust.
“I really believe these should be given out as standard to all send parents, they’re a game changer”
~ a happy purchaser ~
What a day. A mix of fab and a mix of not so fab.
Fab - J’s first day of college. As everyone knows we don’t share all the negative stuff on here but I had a cry this week because the twins were doing different days and times at college and it meant a lot of my work life has to change, quite significantly. However this morning, J’s tutor asked me would I be happy if they changed J’s days. The new days are the same as R so it means I now have many more hours to refocus on work.
Not so fab (aka totally sh*t) - the exam board have confirmed they have “misplaced” two of J’s maths papers (he only did 3) and want to grade his whole subject on one paper (which is the paper he said he found most challenging). So off we go to battle that decision.
Fab again - J came home so happy with how the day went. Had two TAs and said they were both great. His tutor is awesome and so keen to embrace what J brings to the course.
I’m emotionally exhausted - hadn’t realised quite how much I was worrying about his first day but it went better than I could have even hoped.
What about you? How was your Monday?
PD - smiling happy teenage boy.
#visuallyimpaired #inclusiveeducation #pearsonuk #poorperformance #happyson #specialneedsfamily
Comment on Facebook What a day. A mix of...
Love you J ❤️
What an awesome mum you are xx
So glad J has had a good day. Xx
Rather convenient lost maths papers ! I know we worry about change of routine. They both have your strength of character to see them through. xx 😘
Fantastic that he’s had such a good day and that they have changed his day. That’s brilliant xxx not so good about the exam. That’s just rubbish. Did he do any course work while at school? Can they take it from that and advice from his maths teacher. Why is everything such a struggle these days !!! Deep breaths. Xxxx
Made my own desk planner because ……
I can!
Comment on Facebook 603252347897094
That looks fab! 👏👏
Oh I like desk planners 😀
Fab xx
The news today is devastating for many people. However, the annual household bill doesn’t always make it clear how that impacts you as an individual. I have found this on the @ofgem website. It shows the following price caps per unit:
Electricity goes from 28p per unit to 52p per unit.
Gas goes from 7p per unit to 15p per unit.
Your bills will show you your unit usage.
This cap applies if you’re on a default energy tariff, whether you pay by direct debit, standard credit or a prepayment meter.
It won’t apply if you are on a fixed-term energy tariff or have chosen a standard variable green energy tariff Ofgem has exempted from the cap.
#ofgem #energypricecap #pricecapincrease #energypricecap #costoflivingcrisis
As you start to get back up, reality hits in again. Went to collect the twins’ exam results today. They both did well, except we do not have J’s maths results. It has yet to be graded (or if we’re being more realistic, it has gone walkabout and they can’t find it)! Now we have to look at what happens if they can’t find it.
He does his exams separately and in braille, and for anyone who knows braille, they will know it takes up a lot of paper compared to print. Not an easy thing to lose.
We are now in a bit of limbo waiting for the marking team to get their act together. Thanks guys, added pressure and frustration he really didn’t need.
#gcse2022 #brailledpapers #visuallyimpaired #frustration #realityofspecialneeds #ofqual
Comment on Facebook As you start to get ...
Well done to the twins . As for J’s maths results did you really expect it to be completely easy. Come on Deb the boy is “different” so there is and it shouldn’t happen still years of problems ahead. Discrimination raises its head again !
That's a blow. Hope the school get their act together...
Do you have times when you feel low and nothing seems to lift you back up where you want to be?
The last 5 months have been really hard for me. I am only sharing in order to help anyone else feeling the same way. I want them to know they are not alone and it can improve.
When my son had his first seizure I sank. Add to that the drama of GCSEs and SEND, losing our dog, more seizures, MRIs, EEGs, medication, a new diagnosis, along with a whole array of things I chose not to share on social media and I have been sinking fast.
I had lost interest in seeing people.
I had lost interest in my work.
I had lost interest in me.
I had lost interest in everything and had also started accepting the unacceptable.
I’ve been working on it though, behind the scenes.
A few close friends knew but if you looked at social media, you would have no idea.
This last month, I have gone back to journaling. The joy of writing down exactly what I think has been exactly what I needed.
Thanks @softthistle for reminding me how much I loved my Bullet Journal and how I didn’t just use it to plan my life. Getting it all out of my head has helped me so much.
I know it’s working when something happened this evening and my response was more my old me and not the anger or tears I’ve been feeling for what seems a long time.
Huge thanks to those of you who have stuck with me during it all, especially my amazing husband.
It’s taken time, it’s still a work in progress but yes, I think it’s time to be happy again.
#happinesstakescourage #hatersgoingtohate #lifeisgood #keepingitreal #sendparenting
Comment on Facebook Do you have times ...
Sorry that so much has been going on in the background Debs, really hope you can keep it channeling it again x
Love this xxx
Massive hugs lovely! What can I say... journalling just works! <3 Looking forward to a proper catch up when all kids are back to school n I'm feeling better 😂 Much love xxx
Sending so much love , sometimes it really hits us hard I know that feeling all too well, well done for getting back on track , ❤️❤️❤️
Aw love, sometimes life is so hard, and as parents we are just expected to carry on. I know exactly what you mean. I pray for you to have peace despite all things life is throughing at you and your family. I am so glad you have found a way to help in writing things down, planning etc. , and clear your mind. All my love xxx
Sending you big love x
So resonate Debs
🥰🥰💪💪
Oh debs! 💛💛💛💪
I love Adele Parks and I love competitions. it’s a win win!It is Wednesday, and you know what that means! COMPETITION time!! #OneLastSecret became a number 1 audio bestseller as soon as it was published, to celebrate that this week you have a chance of winning a pair of yellow earbuds! You can stylishly listen to #audio #podcast or #playlist - your choice!
For a chance to win there earbuds and a signed copy of ONE LAST SECRET all you have to do is Like this post and share it on your FB page. It’s that easy!! Good luck! 🍀🤞
#competition #prize #bookstagram #book #winning #signedbooks #thriller #thrillerbooks
This competition is open to residents of the UK only (sorry!)
Closes 29/08/22. Winners will be contacted by DM by 30/08/22
Most Popular Pearls of Wisdom
Self care: Me too not Me First, Wednesday, 16th September 2020 Self care isn't about making you the number one priority and ignoring the needs of everyone around you. Self care means "me too". (396)- Incomplete Compassion Friday, 5th June 2020 If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incompleteJack Kornfield Compassion - a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them"Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown… (372)
- Failure, then success Monday, 1st June 2020 Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure… (325)
- Lists, Bullet Journal and Autism Wednesday, 20th January 2016 However, this week, we realised how much impact my love of lists has had on my son. (322)
- You’re just lazy Saturday, 18th February 2017 I think I saw myself through her eyes. I was explaining about the difficulties and her response was "Debs, sorry love but I think you're just lazy, there's no excuse" (260)
Most Popular Posts
- Self care: Me too not Me First, Wednesday, 16th September 2020 Self care isn't about making you the number one priority and ignoring the needs of everyone around you. Self care means "me too". (396)
- Incomplete Compassion Friday, 5th June 2020 If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incompleteJack Kornfield Compassion - a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them"Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown… (372)
- Failure, then success Monday, 1st June 2020 Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure… (325)
- Lists, Bullet Journal and Autism Wednesday, 20th January 2016 However, this week, we realised how much impact my love of lists has had on my son. (322)
- You’re just lazy Saturday, 18th February 2017 I think I saw myself through her eyes. I was explaining about the difficulties and her response was "Debs, sorry love but I think you're just lazy, there's no excuse" (260)