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Hello!
I'm Debs, and you've found my little corner of the internet
I am a happily married mum of three.
Our house is home to me, my husband, three children and a huge variety of special educational needs and disabilities (ranging from severe visual impairment to autism, from speech and communication issues to dyspraxia and from osteoarthritis to vertigo). It's also home to one very nutty dog who fits in perfectly.
Having children with SEND has definitely given me a huge bag of tools to help me get back up, time and time again. Tools to help me keep the plates spinning and tools to help me know when I need to focus on self care.
I try to keep it real, I don't pretend I have the perfect Instagrammable home life, work/life balance or eating habits. Like you, I have good days and bad days.
Days when motivation comes easily and days when just getting out of bed is an achievement.
Days when anyone could pop round and I would be delighted to see them, and others when my house is in need of a bit of attention so unexpected drop ins leave me feeling overwhelmed.
Life isn't perfect for anyone but I can help you find that balance so the bad days don't outweigh the good ones.
Life is never ever dull!
I hope you enjoy reading my pearls of wisdom, please
feel free to leave your comments and thoughts.
Debs x
Happy Clients Have Said...
Latest Pearls of Wisdom
A moment in Merthyr
It’s been a rough few years and holidays have been something we have only been able to dream about. We decided to put off an overseas holiday as we are definitely the people who would end up having to isolate or getting stuck somewhere. That may sound …
Putting it off – making an easy job a challenge
Why do we do it? We have these jobs we know we need to do but we keep putting them off. By doing this, we make the job appear even more difficult than it is. We give it a power and then even more amazingly, we start to believe the hype we have created.
Recent Pearls of Wisdom
Self care: Me too not Me First,
Self care isn’t about making you the number one priority and ignoring the needs of everyone around you. Self care means “me too”.
Eat the ugly Frog first
If we eat the frog, (ie get that awful job done out of the way), then the rest of the day has got to be a breeze but what if you have more than one frog item on your list?
Review – Teen Calm Box
The aim of Teen Calm is to help young adults develop a routine that builds self-regulation skills so they can cope with those annoying doubts and insecurities
To Do List, Planning and Scheduling
“a plan Is what, a schedule is when. It takes both to get things done” Pubilius Syrus Lists Are you a list writer? Do you have lists everywhere? Or maybe even lists organised in one lovely book – yes I’m talking about you – or maybe you have amazing mind maps that you’ve spent hours …
Incomplete Compassion
Compassion – a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them” Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown that some psychopaths have the ability to feel compassion but …
Focus, focus, focus
If you are anything like me, you are possibly involved in several projects. Maybe you’re not involved in lots of projects, but you are trying to juggle work, home, me-time, keeping fit, being a mum/dad, and somehow trying to find time to write that book or redecorate that room. or learn a new skill I …
Failure, then success
Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure …
Do what you can
Start where you are Do you put things off because you are thinking of the end result too much and it seems so far away? Want to run a marathon? Want to lose a few stone? Want to start a podcast? Want to change career? You know what you have to do, don’t you? Start! …
The sun is out and of course that makes me think about eating healthier.
Salads. What do you put in them?
I’m looking for inspiration and different ingredients to try. I’ve become quite set in my ways but when I look on Pinterest (or similar), I get a tonne of recipes and that’s overwhelming. My brain isn’t functioning on full speed today.
Please share the different ingredients you put into a salad. I’m not looking for a recipe, just different ingredient ideas. They can be as basic or as adventurous/obscure as you like.
#salad #needideasplease #funwithfood
Comment on Facebook The sun is out and ...
Roasted onion and roasted sweet potato are amazing In a salad. Chopped cucumber and sweetcorn mixed together Grated carrot with sultanas and a little Mayo mixed in
Roasted cubes of butternut squash and sweet potatoes with spinach leaves and watercress plus the usual salad veggies with a drizzle of oil and balsamic vinegar
Spinach leaves and avocado 🥑
Grated carrot, orange and sultanas
Gherkins, cornichons in herbs, olives, apple,grapes
I deliver workshops on communication and we talk a lot in those about how written communication can be so easily misinterpreted.
This tweet made me genuinely laugh and I know it will be making its way into my training workshops.
PD - spice up any facebook comment with random quotation marks. “Congrats” on your baby. Congrats on “your” baby. Congrats on your “baby”
#justforfun #communicationskills #communicationiskey
This is what a middle aged mum looks like the day after putting on a large music festival.
A week of site build, followed by being on my feet for over 14 hours and sleeping on a bean bag has left me in a world of pain today. I need to remember that I don’t bounce back in the same way my younger self did.
I’m tired and experiencing a mixed bag of emotions. From grief to pride, from joy to sadness, and everything in between.
Tomorrow, hopefully, the power of sleep will help me to balance again and I can start to process everything this week has thrown at me.
I’m also praying that I will be able to move without wincing in pain with every single step!
#thisgirlcan #hopefully
Comment on Facebook This is what a ...
You should be very proud of yourself. The festival was a huge success. You totally rock xxxx ❤️
It was a great event you guys put on. You guys should be proud of yourselves!!! 😊 Roll on 2023
We really appreciate all you and the other guys do to put this event on. I hope you have a good night's sleep and tomorrow you can just be mega proud of yourself ❤️ xx
This is what a beautiful soul looks like 💕. Yesterday is testament to that ! Hope you can grab some rest and time for yourself now . Xx
Well done! You could use your balance cards too to help process all the emotions of the weekend and the loss of an integral member of your awesome family! What a wonderful festival you created ❤ 😍
Take care deb we are only next door if you need anything x
Well done for getting it all done!! Time to BREATHE <3
REST then celebrate that you all did it x
You are and always will be amazing x
You need a massage … and a big clap ! Vx
Love ya debs you’re a legend xxx
❤️❤️❤️
#youramazing x
You're superwoman 💪💋
Today is a very sad day Chez AsPland. We had to say goodbye to this little man. He’s been with us for a long old time and we know life will be so different without him in it. He was loved so much and leaves a hole in our hearts but he’ll be bouncing away up there and chasing waves without any discomfort now
Comment on Facebook Today is a very sad ...
Sorry to hear of your sad loss xx
Aww Debs I'm really sorry to see this, poor old Bertie and all of you. Big hugs to you all xxx
Bouncing Bertie 💔
I'm so sorry. Sending squidgy hugs xx
I know what it's like to lose a pet Michelle. Gone through it over 50 years and it doesn't get any easier. Thinking of you. xx
Run free little man 🌈 💙🐶
Big hugs 🥲
Aww soo sorry guys 💙💙💙
🐾❤️
💔
Sad 😞
I’m so sorry Debs xx
It's hard when they go.xx
Busy busy busy mode right now.
Festability takes over our lives at this time of the event. Lots of late nights, phone calls, emails and perhaps a few profanities.
Adding to the usual huge to do list is getting my son’s book published (now also available in paperback), the twins sitting GCSEs (so I’m playing taxi driver and tutor), and printing planners etc ready to sell on the day.
As much as I can’t wait for the big day, I’m also looking forward to Monday 20 when I can catch my breath and watch trash tv on the sofa!
How’s your week going?
PD - overhead view of the 27 acre field at Quex park to host Festability.
#festability #kent #livemusic #musicfestival #inclusive
PROUD MUM ALERT!!!!
A few months back my eldest son said he wanted to write a book. We obviously said "go for it" as labels and assumptions mean nothing to us. Many people say autistic people have no imagination. What do they know?
My son took to his iPhone and using just his thumbs and his notes app, he has written a 15k word short story about corrupt politicians. Can't think where he got that idea from 🤣
We then copied the whole project into word, ran it through a spell check, etc and then created a cover and loaded it onto Amazon.
Yes, you can now buy his ebook on Kindle (his print copy is going through the process). He is a published author!
Hoping this is an avenue he can thrive in as he has enjoyed the whole experience!
amzn.to/3Q3YTxA
Affiliate link - I get a bit of money if you buy through this link but feel free to search K T Aspland if you prefer.
#autisticauthor #newauthor #teenageauthor #kentauthor #proudmum
Comment on Facebook PROUD MUM ALERT!!!!...
Wow, how amazing , you must be very proud 👏 👏👏👏
Proud parent moment x
Amazing 🤩 Just bought it for me and Anthony to read 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
👏👏👏Amazing!
Awesome!
Just bought it, can't wait to read it, it's right up my street xx
Wow! Incredible! X
Nominations are now open for BAPs 2022
Get nominating those SEN parent carers who make a difference🎉The #BAPSAwards are back! 🎉 Nominations are now OPEN! Head over to our website to nominate now:
www.myfamilyourneeds.co.uk/baps/round-one-nominations
Voyage Care MacIntyre Choice Support
Isn’t this just lovely?
This content isn't available at the moment
When this happens, it's usually because the owner only shared it with a small group of people or changed who can see it, or it's been deleted.Our lockdown plum tree has got plums for the first time. You would think my husband was personally responsible for pollinating them!
It doesn’t take much to make us happy in the AsPland house.
My lovely friend spent 5 hours with me on Wednesday tidying the garden beds. She offered but I don’t think she’d realised quite how out of hand it had got! We all need that friend though, the one who pushes you to get off the laptop and outside.
#LockdownGarden #JubileeWeekend #PlumTree #theJoyOfGrowing #GrowYourOwn #GoodFriends
What will you be remembered for?
I was asked this question the other day and asked to provide a list of everything I’ve done and maybe remembered for.
I have a list of things I’d like to be remembered for but I’m probably going to bet that it will be one of the stories I want people to forget that lives longest.
Comment on Facebook What will you be ...
Think that might be me . 😂🤣
Me neither 😂
You and me both debs !
Good girl 😍🤣❤️
I relate ☺️
Most Popular Pearls of Wisdom
Incomplete Compassion Friday, 5th June 2020 If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incompleteJack Kornfield Compassion - a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them"Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown… (339)- Self care: Me too not Me First, Wednesday, 16th September 2020 Self care isn't about making you the number one priority and ignoring the needs of everyone around you. Self care means "me too". (306)
- Failure, then success Monday, 1st June 2020 Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure… (288)
- Lists, Bullet Journal and Autism Wednesday, 20th January 2016 However, this week, we realised how much impact my love of lists has had on my son. (261)
- The Happy Diary Monday, 25th September 2017 It only takes 5 days and is not a diary you complete every evening, forever. You just do this for 5 days and then when you need a boost, you do it again. (247)
Most Popular Posts
- Incomplete Compassion Friday, 5th June 2020 If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incompleteJack Kornfield Compassion - a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them"Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown… (339)
- Self care: Me too not Me First, Wednesday, 16th September 2020 Self care isn't about making you the number one priority and ignoring the needs of everyone around you. Self care means "me too". (306)
- Failure, then success Monday, 1st June 2020 Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure… (288)
- Lists, Bullet Journal and Autism Wednesday, 20th January 2016 However, this week, we realised how much impact my love of lists has had on my son. (261)
- The Happy Diary Monday, 25th September 2017 It only takes 5 days and is not a diary you complete every evening, forever. You just do this for 5 days and then when you need a boost, you do it again. (247)