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Hello!
I'm Debs, and you've found my little corner of the internet
I am a happily married mum of three.
Our house is home to me, my husband, three children and a huge variety of special educational needs and disabilities (ranging from severe visual impairment to autism, from speech and communication issues to dyspraxia and from osteoarthritis to vertigo). It's also home to one very nutty dog who fits in perfectly.
Having children with SEND has definitely given me a huge bag of tools to help me get back up, time and time again. Tools to help me keep the plates spinning and tools to help me know when I need to focus on self care.
I try to keep it real, I don't pretend I have the perfect Instagrammable home life, work/life balance or eating habits. Like you, I have good days and bad days.
Days when motivation comes easily and days when just getting out of bed is an achievement.
Days when anyone could pop round and I would be delighted to see them, and others when my house is in need of a bit of attention so unexpected drop ins leave me feeling overwhelmed.
Life isn't perfect for anyone but I can help you find that balance so the bad days don't outweigh the good ones.
Life is never ever dull!
I hope you enjoy reading my pearls of wisdom, please
feel free to leave your comments and thoughts.
Debs x
Happy Clients Have Said...
Latest Pearls of Wisdom
Recent Pearls of Wisdom
I saw this over on LinkedIn - really worth spreading the word to raise awareness.
Pass it on
International day of Happiness.
I keep seeing posts like this.
“Let go of things that don’t make you happy”?
Over the years, I’ve had a few school staff, LA staff and others who have certainly not made us happy. Letting go of those buggers wasn’t really an option.
🤬🤬🤣🤬🤬🤣🤬🤬🤣
Happy Mothers Day to all the amazing mums out there
Hope you all have a wonderful day today and you know how loved and valued you are.
❤️❤️
Do you remember that day? The day you heard? The day your child was given a label? The day your life was turned upside down?
Do you remember thinking your heart would never feel this much pain again?
Do you remember thinking your heart would never be able to feel this much pain again and actually survive?
Do you remember making that first call to family or friends to tell them your news? Do you remember hearing that shock and pain in their voice? Do you remember thinking they sounded disappointed – just a little bit but you’re sure you heard it?
Do you remember looking at your partner and thinking “do they blame me”?
Do you remember thinking it would never be as bad as this ever again?
Do you remember sitting with your child being sedated just to have a stomach ultrasound? Do you remember telling a junior doctor about your child’s condition because you are an expert now?
Do you remember sitting outside operating theatres? Do you remember looking for the doctor after the operation? Do you remember seeing that look that said “we tried ...”?
Do you remember bartering with a God you’ve always claimed not to believe in? Do you remember the amazing things you were going to do as long as your child came through the operation?
Do you remember thinking it would never be as bad as this ever again?
Do you remember the first nursery that turned you away without funding? Do you remember being turned down when you applied for the funding?
Do you remember the first time you appealed against a decision? Do you remember waiting for the letter to come? Only for it to contain bad news?
Do you remember every muscle in your body struggling to keep you upright?
Do you remember wanting to burst into tears but your child was watching you?
Do you remember thinking it would never be as bad as this ever again?
Do you remember the first time that a stranger realised your child was different? Do you remember that look of pity? Do you remember that look of contempt as though you were to blame?
Do you remember feeling judged?
Do you remember that first public meltdown?
Do you remember those people just stopping to stare? Do you remember wanting to just break down and cry? Do you remember being kicked and punched by your child due to their distress?
Do you remember those people talking loudly nearby? Do you remember their comments about bad parents? Do you remember their comments about naughty children?
Do you remember thinking it would never be as bad as this ever again?
Do you remember hearing your child needed an EHC Plan? Do you remember everyone telling you how difficult it was to get a good one? Do you remember all those assessments? Do you remember repeating your child’s history to several professionals? Do you remember having to focus on all that your child cannot do? Do you remember feeling like you were betraying your child by talking about them like that?
Do you remember thinking it would never be as bad as this ever again?
Do you remember hearing that children like ours are more likely to be abused? Do you remember thinking that would never happen to your child?
Do you remember realising that your child had never been told about abuse? Do you remember realising you had never taught your child how to report abuse? Do you remember thinking you had let your child down?
Do you remember thinking it would never be as bad as this ever again?
Do you remember being referred to as "that mum" or "that dad"?
Do you remember being asked if you were just looking for problems?
And tonight, as I write this, I am thinking it can never be as bad as this ever again. Sadly, I know from experience, that it will.
Comment on Facebook 779388120283515
Unfortunatly I know this all too well....
The threats of legal action because I dared to challenge a system that was too focused on balancing the books than doing what is right for the child
I was 20 when my 6 day old baby girl went in to heart failure in my arms. Later that night in hospital I was called to a side room where a team and a tea tray was waiting for me. That’s when they told me that my daughter had extensive global brain damage & stood almost no chance of survival (she’s now 25). I remember it well. I’ve had 3 diagnosis dates with my son, I was on my own for all of them. I remember it all, every detail, every emotion, the look on peoples faces, just everything.
Such sad news. She was an inspiration to many female entrepreneurs and campaigners.
Ann Summers boss Jacqueline Gold dies aged 62
metro.co.uk
The businesswoman died on Thursday evening after seven years of treatment for breast cancer.Autistic Teen Writes Novel & Shatters Stereotypes
I remember being told when he was young that autistic people have no imagination. I think he forgot to read that memo.
Picking up his phone, opening the notes app and using just his thumbs, he has written a wonderful, fast-moving, short novel.
To say I am proud is an understatement. To say I am envious of his “just do it” attitude is also an understatement. How many hours have I spent dithering over my novel idea??!!
As I sat researching tips from writers, writing software, etc (because he had mentioned he might want to do this), he sat just doing it!
It’s available on Amazon if you fancy supporting his dream of being a writer. He may be good at the writing part but the marketing falls to me. Help a mum out!
It’s available as a paperback, on kindle and also available on Kindle Unlimited for those who subscribe to that.
amzn.to/3LqajvG.
#autisticauthor #autismcan #autismfamily #autismmom #autismlove
Comment on Facebook Autistic Teen Writes...
I defiantly would love to read this!💗xxx
Oh my word! Well done! I will recommend it round... never know it may end up on a reading list!
Brilliant well done kane xx
What an achievement, well done.xx
Overwhelmed by the piles of paperwork sitting around the house.
🛏️ A pile next to the bed
🚽 A pile near the loo
🛋️ A pile near the sofa
🗂️ A pile waiting to be filed
📎 A pile near on the dining table
🗞️ A pile on the breakfast bar
🙄 A 1001 things stuck to your fridge door
You are not alone! As a parent carer of three teenagers with a variety of labels, I know about the quantities of paperwork entering the house.
My FREE paperwork guide is filled with ideas and honesty about what has or hasn’t worked for me. It shares tips on how to create a system that actually works (and looks at the barriers to some systems), it looks at using what you have at home (cereal box anyone?), making new habits and a variety of other ideas to help.
Download the guide for FREE over on my site and let me know what you think. If you have other ideas to share, we can add and update this guide to share those ideas with other families.
lifeaspland.com/paperwork-guide/
#parentcarer #parentcarerpaperwork #sendfamilies #specialneedsfamily #specialneeds #parentcarerlife #additionalneeds #additionalneedsparenting
Comment on Facebook Overwhelmed by the ...
LOVE this! <3
This is just brilliant! Thank you for the download 🥰
I asked Chat GPT to write some tips for parent carers. The first one said “practice patience and understanding when dealing with your child”
Even AI knows that being patient and understanding with some practitioners isn’t an option.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some brilliant practitioners out there who make a positive difference every single day. However, there are more than a few who really shouldn’t be in their role.
If you are having to deal with one of those right now, and you feel like you are getting nowhere, understand that even Artificial Intelligence has recognised that they exist and doesn’t know what to suggest!
If you’re having a bad day, I am sending you a big virtual hug.
On International Women’s Day, I want to say a huge thank you to all those women who support me, virtually and in real life. The women who check in, the women who give advice, the women who share my planner page or my festival page so others know about me, the women who leave reviews, the women who show me their plants, the women who keep it real on Instagram, the women who share their expertise and knowledge, the women who make me belly laugh, the women who chat arthritis and dodgy hips, the women who accept me at my worst and all the other women who play a small but significant role in my life.
I would also like to give a shout out to my amazing daughter, a mini me, who makes me swell with pride each day, even on the days when she also makes me roll my eyes and sigh.
We are women! Together we can move mountains.
#internationalwomensday
Comment on Facebook On International ...
Always cheering you on lovely 👏🏻👏🏻
bloody glad to have you in our lives, even if it is through zoom instead of close by! <3 xx
❤️❤️
Most Popular Pearls of Wisdom
Self care: Me too not Me First, Wednesday, 16th September 2020 Self care isn't about making you the number one priority and ignoring the needs of everyone around you. Self care means "me too". (570)- Lists, Bullet Journal and Autism Wednesday, 20th January 2016 However, this week, we realised how much impact my love of lists has had on my son. (493)
- Incomplete Compassion Friday, 5th June 2020 If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incompleteJack Kornfield Compassion - a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them"Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown… (439)
- Failure, then success Monday, 1st June 2020 Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure… (379)
- You’re just lazy Saturday, 18th February 2017 I think I saw myself through her eyes. I was explaining about the difficulties and her response was "Debs, sorry love but I think you're just lazy, there's no excuse" (324)
Most Popular Posts
- Self care: Me too not Me First, Wednesday, 16th September 2020 Self care isn't about making you the number one priority and ignoring the needs of everyone around you. Self care means "me too". (570)
- Lists, Bullet Journal and Autism Wednesday, 20th January 2016 However, this week, we realised how much impact my love of lists has had on my son. (493)
- Incomplete Compassion Friday, 5th June 2020 If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incompleteJack Kornfield Compassion - a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them"Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown… (439)
- Failure, then success Monday, 1st June 2020 Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure… (379)
- You’re just lazy Saturday, 18th February 2017 I think I saw myself through her eyes. I was explaining about the difficulties and her response was "Debs, sorry love but I think you're just lazy, there's no excuse" (324)