Anyone who is in a relationship will understand what I mean when I say men who do things “for us”. I am not talking about the men who buy us presents, or whisk us away on weekend breaks (I have heard rumours that these men do exist). Nor the men who complete the tax return or sort the bills out.
What do men do for us?
I am talking about the men who do things like:
- load the dishwasher
- iron their shirts
- feed the children
- bring the washing in
and then tell you they have done it “for you”
- I loaded the dishwasher – for you
- I ironed my shirts – for you
- I fed the children – for you
- I brought the washing in – for you
Oh, and at that point, remember you are expected to express your eternal gratitude.
“Oh thank you so much, I am so glad you ironed your shirts for me”
And more importantly, you have to try not to sound sarcastic when you say it. Difficult I know and let’s be honest, how many of you have heard that and responded with “oh, you did that for me, did you? You’re too kind” Or is that just me?
Of course, in your man’s mind, they really are doing this for you. These are chores you have taken on – by choice or by necessity – and when they do that chore, they really believe they are doing it for you. They don’t think through the process and consider that they need clean dishes, ironed shirts, etc. Of course, this is where we enjoy our other role – the one of pointing out the obvious to them.
As fun as it may be to be sarcastic, imagine how it would be if they didn’t do any of those things for us. I know it may be infrequent and it may be that it really annoys you when they seem so proud of themselves but imagine if it never happened.
There are men out there who wouldn’t even know where to begin with some of the day to day chores.
I had one friend who left her husband home for the day with her young child – the first time she had left the house for any length of time. She left him with a variety of instructions and ideas but didn’t cover lunch. She presumed that when her husband was feeding himself, he would also get food for their child. Sadly, she was wrong. As this activity had not been covered in her instructions, he had not considered it. Despite eating lunch himself. Thankfully she wasn’t out too long so the poor child was fed mid-afternoon.
I had another friend who had newborn twins, post natal depression, living miles from anywhere and her “then” husband complained when he got in from work that she had “done nothing” all day because his dinner wasn’t ready.
I have another friend who would spend hours cleaning her home, only for her partner to return and complain that the foot pedal on the bin was dirty!
Yes, these men are real and they are out there. Often, they will be the ones who are now, not surprisingly, available!
So next time, your partner does something for you, try to quell the desire to laugh, be sarcastic or patronising. You can do that with your mates later!
Instead, tell yourself that he was thinking of you and thinking of how to make your life a little easier as he did it.
Try not to think that maybe he was just considering that the football was on later or hoping he might get lucky later.
Embrace these men. They are actually the good guys. They may not be perfect – then again, we’re probably not either (but I won’t tell them if you don’t).
I have not been paid, bribed, threatened or hypnotised to write this post. And it has not been written because I really really really want a hot tub! Honest.
Just for fun
Share examples of things your man has done for you. Let’s have a giggle.