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Hello!
I'm Debs, and you've found my little corner of the internet
I am a happily married mum of three.
Our house is home to me, my husband, three children and a huge variety of special educational needs and disabilities (ranging from severe visual impairment to autism, from speech and communication issues to dyspraxia and from osteoarthritis to vertigo). It's also home to one very nutty dog who fits in perfectly.
Having children with SEND has definitely given me a huge bag of tools to help me get back up, time and time again. Tools to help me keep the plates spinning and tools to help me know when I need to focus on self care.
I try to keep it real, I don't pretend I have the perfect Instagrammable home life, work/life balance or eating habits. Like you, I have good days and bad days.
Days when motivation comes easily and days when just getting out of bed is an achievement.
Days when anyone could pop round and I would be delighted to see them, and others when my house is in need of a bit of attention so unexpected drop ins leave me feeling overwhelmed.
Life isn't perfect for anyone but I can help you find that balance so the bad days don't outweigh the good ones.
Life is never ever dull!
I hope you enjoy reading my pearls of wisdom, please
feel free to leave your comments and thoughts.
Debs x
Happy Clients Have Said...
Latest Pearls of Wisdom
To Do List, Planning and Scheduling
âa plan Is what, a schedule is when. It takes both to get things doneâ Pubilius Syrus Lists Are you a list writer? Do you have lists everywhere? Or maybe even lists organised in one lovely book â yes Iâm talking about you – or maybe you …
Incomplete Compassion
Compassion – a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them” Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown that some …
Recent Pearls of Wisdom
Eat the ugly Frog first
If we eat the frog, (ie get that awful job done out of the way), then the rest of the day has got to be a breeze but what if you have more than one frog item on your list?
Review – Teen Calm Box
The aim of Teen Calm is to help young adults develop a routine that builds self-regulation skills so they can cope with those annoying doubts and insecurities
To Do List, Planning and Scheduling
âa plan Is what, a schedule is when. It takes both to get things doneâ Pubilius Syrus Lists Are you a list writer? Do you have lists everywhere? Or maybe even lists organised in one lovely book â yes Iâm talking about you – or maybe you have amazing mind maps that youâve spent hours …
Incomplete Compassion
Compassion – a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them” Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown that some psychopaths have the ability to feel compassion but …
Focus, focus, focus
If you are anything like me, you are possibly involved in several projects. Maybe youâre not involved in lots of projects, but you are trying to juggle work, home, me-time, keeping fit, being a mum/dad, and somehow trying to find time to write that book or redecorate that room. or learn a new skill I …
Failure, then success
Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure …
Do what you can
Start where you are Do you put things off because you are thinking of the end result too much and it seems so far away? Want to run a marathon? Want to lose a few stone? Want to start a podcast? Want to change career? You know what you have to do, don’t you? Start! …
Give the world the best of You
Self Care – Not a priority, sorry! How often do you put you first? How often do you do something that is just for your benefit and no one else’s? How often do you make time for yourself, to have a pamper, go for a run, meditate, write, read, watch a movie, paint, crochet, go …
To all of the England team, Iâm sure youâre hurting today but remember you have made us proud. You not only got us to a final for the first time in my life time, you also represent the values we want our children to aspire to.
Youâve tackled childhood poverty and hunger, supported the NHS, you taken the knee (even when you know that may bring abuse), you supported the LGBTQ community and used your position for good..
Learn from last night but draw a line under it. Move on with your head held high.
#thisisengland #englandfans #saynotoracism #englandđŹđ§
Comment on Facebook 1972950632965132_2902942223299297
Brilliantly said
Well said Debs xx
Love this x
I am loving this from English Heritage. With the surname of Aspland (285) and a maiden name of Swindley (211) to play with, you can see they are both fairly uncommon (and always require spelling đ).
Iâd love to know how common your name is.
Find out on the English Heritage site www.english-heritage.org.uk/england-united - when you click on the link, press launc digital map to search for your name.
Comment on Facebook 1972950632965132_2902207896706063
Loved this, thanks for sharing Debs! my married name was 26,331, Maiden name (Davies) 146,375 (is that all?!) and my mum's maiden name was 5,534 đ
Fox- 42,653 (married) Getty- 257 (maiden) That’s a good little taking point over a coffee, thanks Deb! X
Klumpler is zero! (I know of 3 in the UK, as I'm legally still my maiden name, so the 3 in the UK are my husband and 2 kids!)
My married name is 14,000 but my maiden name..... Is zero!
Richmond 7466 adults most common in Richmond N Yorks and Darlington O’Keefe isn’t on the list
Murphy - 59,715 Downes - 7,955 (Maiden)
Common as muckđ
My maiden name is 596,361 đ my married name just 332
âIf anybody deserves to be happy, itâs my mum. She came to this country with nothing and put herself through school cleaning bathrooms and changing bed sheets, and now sheâs the director of a nursing home.
And her son plays for England.â
This is such a good read, his education sounds familiar to many and his attitude towards putting the work in is one we should all aspire to.
This gorgeous girl is mine! How on earth we produced such a stunner is beyond me.
Not only is she beautiful outside, sheâs also beautiful inside.
Nagging me this morning to book myself a massage, sorting dinner out for everyone as I sat in A&E on Tuesday, encouraging her form teacher to tell everyone about the bike ride.
My only hope is that one day she sees herself in the same way we all do.
â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
Comment on Facebook This gorgeous girl ...
That smile is beautiful đ
Totally agree - a lovely young woman ♥ïž
Like her mum xx
Gorgeous. The image of her mum â€ïžâ€ïž
Beautiful xxx
Hello July
I do love the first day of a new month. Itâs a clean page, you can turn the page on last month and hide anything that didnât go to plan.
The first day of July is a bit special though. Itâs halfway through the year, six months gone and six months left.
New months are also an excuse to make your #bujo look pretty!
Happy 1st July - hereâs to a great month.
#bujoideas #bujodutchdoor #dutchdoor #bujojunkies #bujoinspiration #monthlyspread
What a difference a good A&E doctor makes. As any SEND parent knows, spending time with staff who donât know Autism can be an extra challenge in an already challenging situation.
We hit the jackpot yesterday. A doctor who just got it! One who didnât roll his eyes when I said âhe has a high pain thresholdâ. One who didnât make me feel like a neurotic mother. One who talked to my son rather than at him. One who made us laugh and totally took on board our concerns. One who told me Iâd done the right thing.
We then had a nurse who totally got that we needed to keep going for walks and said âgo, just pop your head in when youâre back and if any news weâll let you know. Do whatever you need toâ
Thankfully after 7 hours, examinations and CT scans, we got the all clear for his shunt - such a huge relief.
We missed the England game but thankfully made it out before the mass of drink-related accidents started to arrive.
Very grateful for our NHS and the amazing staff we met yesterday.
#send #autism #eastkenttrust #fabulousstaff #loveournhs #nhsheroes
PD - photo of A&E waiting room with iscreening around each seat
Comment on Facebook What a difference a ...
Must have been very scary for you all . Pleased everything turned out well . Understand what you mean about medical staff . Sure there will be a way of seeing the football match . Sometimes things are far more important . xx
You must be exhausted (even after a positive experience) Hope you all get some rest ! And I’m pleased all is ok đ
Debs Aspland we are doing some training about reasonable adjustments can I put Janice Wycherley and Vicki Hornby in touch to perhaps use this as a good example? Xxx hope you’re ok
What a week you’ve had! Glad it’s all ok x
Good to hear positives ... and hope that you are home. X
Happiness needs to be the ambition.
We set goals for weight loss, fitness, work, housework, etc etc etc but who has a goal of happiness?
If many goals are long term, does that mean we canât be happy for a few years?
Iâm wondering if we achieve all the other goals we set, we believe weâll be happy? Maybe we need a specific goal around happiness so we focus on it.
Iâm going to add âdaily happinessâ to my list today.
#lifegoals #happiness #ambition
We didn't want to keep you guessing too long, so here you go... Question 2, in which city was the first BAPS Awards held?
#BAPSAward
#justsaying
When a man says "it's not in there, I've looked", that does not mean it's not in there
You're welcome.
Comment on Facebook #justsaying When a ...
This is something I say ::)))
Definitely đ
Always
One very wet and tired, but very happy, boy. Two extremely proud parents.
Over 57 miles this weekend, in sun, wind and rain (typical British weather weekend).
Fundraising for a much needed place of calm and relaxation, a well being garden, for his school. Something all the pupils and staff will be able to use.
Itâs not too late if you want to give a donation.
www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/blindcyclist
(Link in bio if on Insta )
A huge thanks to everyone who has donated so far, but a special thanks to the people who gave up parts of their weekend to help cycle with him. Heâs had a lovely time, filled with laughter and an ability to impress everyone with his talent of being able to cycle and chat - a lot - at the same time! Canât think where he gets his chattiness from?
Comment on Facebook 2892319987694854
Well done Jamie. An awesome job đ xx
Most Popular Pearls of Wisdom
The Happy Diary Monday, 25th September 2017 It only takes 5 days and is not a diary you complete every evening, forever. Â You just do this for 5 days and then when you need a boost, you do it again. (163)- Incomplete Compassion Friday, 5th June 2020 If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incompleteJack Kornfield Compassion - a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them"Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown… (159)
- Visualising Success Monday, 19th February 2018 When I first heard about Vision Boards (aka Dream boards), I thought âoh thatâs nice but I donât have magazines and glue sticks lying around and I have no intention of buying themâ. I moved on. (146)
- Review – Teen Calm Box Wednesday, 17th June 2020 The aim of Teen Calm is to help young adults develop a routine that builds self-regulation skills so they can cope with those annoying doubts and insecurities (129)
- Failure, then success Monday, 1st June 2020 Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure… (124)
Most Popular Posts
- The Happy Diary Monday, 25th September 2017 It only takes 5 days and is not a diary you complete every evening, forever. Â You just do this for 5 days and then when you need a boost, you do it again. (163)
- Incomplete Compassion Friday, 5th June 2020 If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incompleteJack Kornfield Compassion - a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them"Cambridge English Dictionary Everyone, with the exception of perhaps some psychopaths, has the ability to feel compassion towards others. Studies have shown… (159)
- Visualising Success Monday, 19th February 2018 When I first heard about Vision Boards (aka Dream boards), I thought âoh thatâs nice but I donât have magazines and glue sticks lying around and I have no intention of buying themâ. I moved on. (146)
- Review – Teen Calm Box Wednesday, 17th June 2020 The aim of Teen Calm is to help young adults develop a routine that builds self-regulation skills so they can cope with those annoying doubts and insecurities (129)
- Failure, then success Monday, 1st June 2020 Fear of Failure Why are we so afraid of failure? Failure means different things to different people; due to our upbringing, beliefs, values and obviously the standards we set for ourselves. Failure for one person may not be a failure for someone else. First of all, you need to really be clear about what failure… (124)
